Our apartment master bath includes a bidet. I had no idea how to use it. The thought that I should ask somebody came and went until I thought it was too late to admit I hadn’t used it since I’d been here.
The bidet immediately became a place to hold the cleaning rags that Flora, our weekly housecleaner, uses. The last thing she does before she leaves for the day is toss the rags into the washing machine (which is in the second bathroom) and start the wash cycle.
Later I take the rags out of the washer and take them to the balcony clothes-drying rack. When they are dry, I neatly fold them and put them back in the bidet.
We’ve been here a year! It’s time I learned how to use a bidet!
Next stop . . . Google
The first thing I discovered was there’s more than one type of bidet.
- all-in-one toilet with bidet
- standalone bidet like we have
- bidet attachments to fit on a standard toilet
- hand-held sprayers
The second thing I discovered was when you have the standalone bidet you have to “do your business” in the toilet then shift over to the bidet. That was a bit distressing to imagine.
The third thing I discovered was how to sit on the stand-alone bidet. First I’d have to turn on the water to get the right temperature then straddle the bidet and adjust the water spout to the correct angle depending on if I was facing the water source to clean the urine or with my back to the water source to clean the poop. Or . . . figure out how to place the angle of the water so when I faced the stream of water it somehow covered the entire territory. Frankly I can’t imagine how that would work.
The fourth thing I discovered was I’d need to use either toilet paper or a designated cloth to pat my wet areas dry.
The fifth thing I discovered was my “the hell with it” message from my intuition. I might have a different attitude if I had an all-in-one top-of-the-line toilet/bidet with heated seat and blow dryer capabilities. For now I’ll maintain my All-American bathroom traditional routine.
Public restroom versus private homes
All the public restrooms I’ve used in Albania are equipped with toilet paper. The one private home I visited had no toilet paper in the bathroom. I mentioned this in my blog, Dinner Guests of an Albanian Family, published 2025/9/25.
That night I’d gone to the bathroom and discovered no toilet paper so I returned to the hostess to let her know. She handed me a paper towel. I completed the toileting by discarding the damp paper towel in the toilet.
I pushed the flush-button and nothing happened. I tried several times but it clearly was not going to flush. I went out and told our hostess who said, “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go. Erim (her husband) is in the car, waiting” and off we went. I willfully erased from my mind how our hostess would deal with the soggy paper towel floating in the toilet that won’t flush.
Still, I am certain if I’m ever invited to a private home for a get-together I’d take toilet paper and alert the hostess in case the toilet doesn’t flush. Come to think of it, it would be wise to take a little plastic bag to hold the wet paper till I can dump it in the garbage. I’ll to see how this plays out in the future.
I refer to bidets as UTI Machines.
Using yours as a cleaning rag storage bin is a grand idea!
If I had one when raising children, I’d use it for washing cloth diapers.
Hi Kathy,
Thank you for commenting on my Bidet post. Your reference to UTI machines made me laugh! I agree that it would be quite utilitarian for washing cloth diapers. If only I’d had a bidet so many decades ago!
ONWARD,
Jennifer
That’s hilarious! The bidet challenge! Albania seems a bit more civilized than many countries in central america, where neither toilet paper nor seat is available! Ah, the trials and tribulations of learning new cultures. You’re doing well. I enjoy your stories.
Hi Theresa,
Thank you for your comment on my Bidet post. I wondered if it would mean anything to our readers. You inspire me to keep posting!
ONWARD!
Jennifer
Oh the joys of a full bidet-seat-on-a-tall-boy-toilet! Heated seats and heated spray are indeed the way to go. I first encountered those marvelous contraptions in Japan.
Sounds like the Japanese have perfected the bidet! Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate knowing my posts are being read and enjoyed.